"You cannot raise your kids as your parents raised you because your parents raised you for a world that no longer exists"
This quote hit me like a ton of bricks because it's SO TRUE! While it would be great to leverage our upbringing as a roadmap for raising my kids, it's just no longer relevant! The world I grew up in is SO different and parenting is all about adapting.
On the flip side, I do have the responsibility to instill the right characters and qualities in my children so that no matter the situation, they'll have a strong foundation once they become adults. I envision this a lot.... I look at my kids and try to imagine what they'd be like in the future. While I LOVE my kids there are things I see at this young age that will serve them well, and things that definitely need some work! LOL
So as I've thought about my top 5 characteristics that I'd want to instill in my children, these are the ones that come to mind:
Resilience. This is such an important character to have. I have the tendency as a boy mom to go and rescue my kids when they are hurt, to defend them at all costs when someone does something wrong to them. I have to stop myself. I have to stop myself from coddling them and not allowing them to get knocked down and figure out how to get up again. I am so thankful that they play sports because trust me - they get knocked down A LOT!
Integrity. This is critical. Even as an adult now, I cannot associate myself with people who lack integrity! I want to ensure my boys have the moral foundation to stand for what is right no matter what. I also want them to be a standup person no matter who is around. This characteristic is going to be important regardless of what the world will look like once they are adults.
Empathy. There are a million studies about empathy and why men seem to not have that character trait and that it's viewed as mostly a female trait. However, in the future and in leadership roles, empathy is actually a strong trait to have regardless of gender! Did you know that Empathy makes people more effective and successful in leadership roles. Why? Because empathy makes you a better coach and mentor. It allows you to be better at conflict management and delegation, thus getting more out of your team. Because I want my boys to excel in leadership or any other arena, it's important they develop this skill.
Intellectual curiosity. I want them to ask WHY? I don't want them to settle for what is... or what people tell them! I want them to be curious, to dig, to research to push boundaries and to be innovative. I value this characteristic because it allows you to be in a position to lead and drive vs. being led by others. It also allows you to understand things for yourself and what's behind a decision... It helps you to understand the why behind what you're doing. This is critical.
Assertiveness. I want my kids to be able to stand up for themselves and for others when necessary. To be able to voice their opinions and views. I want them to be able to disagree with others when they have the evidence or the belief that something needs to be disputed.
Overall, I really want my kids to be prepared for life. While I know this is a tall order, it's my duty as a parent to try and instill these things into them because I have no clue what the future holds and I want them to be able to navigate (successfully) what life throws their way.
XO,
Ayanna
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