Soooo, I have been labeled all kinds of names - stand-off-ish, stuck up, introverted, etc. These labels have mostly been given to me by people who don't know me and meet me for the first time. While I hate being labeled this way, because I know there are SO many other great qualities about me... I understand why I get the labels. Sometimes I feel completely misunderstood but when I reflect on the quirks of my personality, I can thing of a few reasons why I give off that vibe.
Let's get into the WHY...
First of all, I am an only child and therefore, my circle has always been super small. Were it not for a few first cousins, and 1 or 2 best friends, I didn't grow up around a lot of people. In fact, my mother was so strict, I couldn't go out with my friends after school or have boyfriends until I graduated high school. So the fact of the matter is, I thrive in a small circle.
Other issues I have is that my facial expressions are a BIG problem... My face and my brain have the type of relationship that they are connected at the hip... If I think it, my face says it. I have NO control in the matter 👀. So when I meet someone new and I am wondering what are they wearing?... why are they so loud?..... what are they talking about? Well, ummm it's written all over my face (in my Rude Boy voice). This has gotten me into BIG trouble with meeting new people and when I am in arguments with the hubby. I try. I promise. But it hasn't worked in over 30 years so I am at the point of surrender.
I also think being an introvert makes it very hard for me to make new friends. I actually thrive on things like solitaire, Tetris, sudoku, cross-word puzzles.. you know, things you can do by yourself 😂. It's terrible, I know. But I actually hate small talk... you know those awkward conversations you have to have with people when you first meet them 🙄. Here are the obligatory networking questions that I dread:
Where are you from?
What do you do?
How about the weather, huh? It's so nice outside right?
Where'd you go to school?
What did you study?
Where do you live?
Ugggghhhhhhhhh I hate these! I'd rather stand in a corner with a cocktail and talk to one person all day about real life, real things and cut through all the nonsense.
When I contemplate on all these labels, I also consider how loyal I am to my friends. I literally have had the same two best friends for over 20 years! Now, I have lots of other close friends that I have known for 5 and 10 years but it's the same circle! And to be honest, my loyalty run a little different. I am one of those friends that if you come for my sis, you're coming for me.... and if my best friend don't rock with you like that then neither do I... It's that simple. My best friends are my family and that's fact.
So I guess when you put that all together, maybe I am a little stand-off-ish 🤷🏾♀️... it might be because I am scared my facial expressions might give away what I am thinking... Maybe I am introverted; I can't help that because I am an only child... Who knows but what I do know is that I LOVE my tribe and they know and love me too so I am actually ok with that. I have made some new friends whom I love. Those bonds were formed through having common goals and being in the trenches trying to build businesses and a legacy for our children. I am always down for those types of friends...
So, what do you think? Are you an only child and struggle with the same things? How do you overcome being labeled in this way?
XO,
Ayanna
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